“Man [or woman] is what he [or she] believes.”

-Anton Chekhov

Are you a believer? We all believe in something bigger than ourselves, like religion, a certain world view, or even our own capabilities and limitations.

But research shows that the power and commitment of our beliefs is probably the single most important factor in the quality of our lives, above even external circumstances. 

Basically, if we can change our mindset and our beliefs, we can rewrite the story of our own lives any way we wish! 

Upon reflection, I came up with these five new beliefs to adopt that will do just that. 

1. Focus on a growth mindset

We all face setbacks, obstacles, and even tragedies in life. While we can’t usually control what happens to us, we can choose to reframe how we perceive those events, turning the tide in our favor. To do that, start seeing every problem or challenge as an opportunity to grow. 

They say that “You either win or you learn,” and that can be applied to just about any circumstance or event in your life. But by transitioning to a growth mindset, you’ll still process these challenges, but instead of trying to think about them less and move on, you’ll invest more time in yourself and think of how you can grow from the experience, inevitably increasing your level of joy and success. 

2. Become goal-oriented

Don’t think of your day just in terms of tasks, workload, or your never-ending To Do list, but broken down into goals. No matter how small or seemingly mundane, when you switch your mindset to focus on goals, you’ll notice a pretty significant shift. 

Just by checking off these daily or weekly goals and taking action to reach them (whether you achieve them or not), you’ll encourage your brain to release powerful feel-good hormones. You’ll also feel far less unfocused, as everything from going to the gym to working for your next promotion to paying off debt will have clear stepping-stones and established plateaus of success along the journey.

It will become routine to review where you are, where you want to go, and what you can do to make progress every single day. Goal setting will increase your feelings of success, achievement, and happiness! 

3. Control your thoughts = control your life

According to medieval English poet John Milton, “The mind is a universe and can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” 

That’s even more true today, as the modern person is more stressed, anxious, and depressed than ever before in history. But if you can learn to manage your thoughts and emotions, you’ll make amazing strides to shaping your own reality. 

It takes practice and focus at first, but once you are adept and identifying and quieting negative, harmful, and unwanted thoughts (which we all have), the universe within your ears will no longer steal your joy or threaten your inner peace.

Remember that your authentic self doesn’t produce thoughts of guilt, shame, blame or fear, and or any disempowering thoughts that do not serve you – so get rid of them! 

4. Give yourself permission to think/feel in joy

When a reporter once asked the Dali Lama what the meaning of life was, he gave a surprising answer: joy. Joy is so important in our lives, he reasoned, because when we feel happiness and love we both emit those same emotions into the world, and openly accept them. We do no harm and tend to operate at our highest and best potential as human beings when we operate from a place of joy, not fear, loss, or scarcity.

Yet too often, we don’t give ourselves permission to feel joy, thinking that if we’re not serious, struggling, or feeling stressed, we’re not doing enough or somehow being selfish. Quite the opposite is true!

Of course, we have to accept that we cannot please everyone and that no one is free from suffering. But by switching to a mindset of joy, we’ll cultivate the resilience, trust, and faith to get us through even the darkest of days.

5. Take full responsibility for your own life

Repeat after me, “I am completely responsible for how I experience life.”

Just by uttering those words and internalizing their meaning, we empower ourselves to take control of our lives completely. Only we are responsible for our outcomes, our happiness, and writing our own story.

To take full responsibility doesn’t mean we blame ourselves for everything, but acknowledge our power. We realize that we can generate the energy and discipline needed to stay on the path to emotional and physical well-being. We won’t just rely on motivation or need external inspiration, but will simply choose the right habits, regardless of how we feel. 

We also don’t give others permission to steal our joy or derail us from what we want. Of course, we understand that everyone is just doing the best they can, but the manifestation of our lives isn’t up to them, but us. 

With responsibility comes freedom, and that all starts with belief!

–Kelly Resendez