“Work like hell! I had 122 rejection slips before I sold a story.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

It’s easy to look at someone you consider successful, whether they’re a business colleague, friend or a mutual follower through social media and networking platforms, and see how the world said “yes” to them—that they’re in a position where opportunity helped them open doors and climb steps to the top. What you can’t see is the amount of times they probably heard “no” before getting to where they are now. 

Even renowned author and essayist F. Scott Fitzgerald, who wrote The Great Gatsby and The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button among many other notable works, faced an abundance of rejection before finding success and building a legacy for himself that preceded his lifetime. 

There are lessons of perseverance, redirection and keeping an open mind that we can take away from the fact that even F. Scott Fitzgerald faced 122 rejections before finally selling one of his stories. 

I’d like to talk about reframing your mindset to view rejection as a step forward in a different direction, so you can grow a tolerance against your unconscious fears! It’s time to get out of your own way and align yourself with the truth that rejection is redirection. 

Every “No” Leads to a Soul-Aligned “Yes” 

Receiving rejection often feels personal and like a hit to the ego, but it’s a common misconception that rejection means you’re taking a step backward or that you’ll be forever stuck, or that you aren’t good enough. It can ache on a spiritual level to hear “no” and be turned away. 

Rejection and being told “no” simply mean that it just isn’t right for you, and that the right thing is still on its way.  Here’s a plot twist: you already are good enough! Redirection is happening for you. 

Increasing your ability to handle the embarrassment, shame or guilt of hearing “no” will help you realize that a better “yes” is on its way. 

Success is a journey of realizing that judgement and embarrassment and being told no can’t stop you. It doesn’t happen without trial and error; without failure or rejection. Preparing your mind to know and understand this will create a capability within you that opens you up to true true success that aligns with your soul and lifestyle. 

Part of the reason rejection is so hard on the ego is because it often feels personal. As humans, it’s in our nature to want to be well-received or liked, because it means it feels easier to fit in with a community or group where we can feel a sense of belonging or safety. 

It is extremely valid to feel fear and discomfort with rejection, but reframing your mindset and practicing exposure therapy can help you be better equipped to handle these feelings of negativity. 

Channel the idea that the things you fear—social discomfort, rejection, or feeling self-conscious—are actually afraid of you for your ability to put yourself out there despite the critics, despite the backlash, despite the rejection, and despite this idea that because of rejection, you’re an outcast. You belong even when you aren’t where you want to be yet. You belong even when your soul is still being aligned with your journey through redirection. 

Failure Isn’t All Or Nothing 

The discourse that perceives failure as meaning you aren’t good enough is dangerous and harmful because it keeps you feeling small and afraid and stuck. Failure is a normal stepping stone on the path to success. It’s a place for you to learn a lesson and better calculate how to move forward. Anytime you’re faced with failure or mistake, take time to pause and think about what you can take away from an experience that will help you continue to move forward. 

Use an abundance mindset that no experience or person can take away from you—you’ll always be left with more, because you’re learning to embrace failure through trial and error to learn what works better for you. 

Rejection is really just an initiation period where you’re learning lessons that will be valuable to your overall success. Reframing rejection as redirection and practicing exposure to it while reminding yourself that rejection is normal and okay creates proof for your mind that it’s possible to move through rejection. Don’t be afraid to incorporate affirmations to actively remind yourself of your safety when rejection occurs. 

In time and with practice, you’ll be able to realize that you’re still safe even when rejection happens, and you’ll slowly begin to embrace the idea that success will still happen for you despite rejection. 

Rejection Doesn’t Mean Stop 

There’s a misnomer that rejection means that something isn’t meant for you at all, or to stop pursuing something entirely. Remember the F. Scott Fitzgerald quote at the beginning? Imagine if he’d stopped writing or trying to share his writing after his first rejection. His literature has been translated into film, different languages, and is used as a tool for analysis and commentary on society and humanity in school. The effects of his absence would be greater than we know. 

Create a “spiritual callous” that recognizes the resilience you build by facing rejection and find freedom in it. Think about how a guitarist builds callouses on their fingers as they practice picking guitar strings—the callous protects their skin from the friction of the guitar strings, and the result is a beautiful melody. You are the guitarist in your life, practicing rejection to build a callous of protection so you can share your song with the world and play it well.

It isn’t rejection, it’s redirection, and you’re still making progress. 

Put Yourself Out There

You’ll have to learn to face the fear of embarrassment that accompanies rejection. Credit and visibility for any work you do or progress that you make means putting yourself out there! Even if you have minimal to no recognition, or face rejection, you have to let yourself be seen and known even when you’re faced with failure or hear “no.” The proof is in the pudding, as they say—your effort still matters. 

Success is about momentum and watering the seeds that you planted years and years ago. Every single person that says “no” is leading you closer to the person who will say “yes,” the people who want your presence and enjoy your perspectives and ideas. 

Some actionable ideas for putting yourself out there are and exposing yourself to potential, low-risk rejection: 

• Apply for a job you’re underqualified for
• Message someone you’re a fan of
• Be overdressed for a dinner or meal out
• Reach out for a mentor and ask to get on a short call with them to talk about their path to success and how many “no’s” it took to get them where they are

People might say no, or ghost you, or pass judgement, but that’s okay! It’s all a process of learning, and what matters most is your perception. You are enough, and you are inherently worthy, and you are capable and confident. By facing rejection head-on and reframing it as redirection, you’re building a tolerance to it that will lead you to the success you desire.