One of the most difficult disciplines we need to learn to do better and faster is to let go of things, situations, or people that we know can’t possibly be good for us. But why is this so hard? Your Big Voice will always guide you to let go when something or someone is not good for you but your Little Voice is going to hold on for dear life. Your ego has bonds and attachments that run deep. Some are habits, addictions, or in some cases, trauma bonds. We must make a decision to let go faster so we may suffer less and experience more joy.
Picture a fish on a hook. He had been swimming around enjoying the bright blue ocean and then saw the most magnificent, shiny fish darting in front of him. Needing to fill up he went after it with furious speed. As his mouth latched on he also felt the sharp pain of a hook connecting to his flesh. He tried to fight it on his own. He swam away and battled but that only seemed to make it worse. No matter what he did he could not rid himself of the hook.
I think all of us feel like that fish in our lives at times. We are “hooked”; completely powerless with no way out. We use tons of energy and think too much about the situation or person that is stealing our joy.
If it is a relationship, the hook runs deep into our heart because we all want to be seen and loved. This hook can get us into situations we know are not right or are not aligned with our standards and boundaries. We should learn our lessons and rise above this but this isn’t always easy. If you are in a relationship that is unhealthy, the hook that keeps you there can vary. It might be your Little Voice saying you aren’t worthy, or you are afraid to be financially independent, or you worry about your kids if you divorce, or worse yet you might be addicted to the energy a toxic relationship provides. Depending on how complicated your relationship is you may need to seek out professional help to really figure out what is best for you and where to start. There are times that just doing self-work can change a relationship that seemed hopeless. But other times letting go is the only thing you can do.
Letting go of other people or even family members that are toxic for us is also extremely difficult. We are born with a desire to help others. Especially those that are lost. We might pour into them emotionally, physically, or financially. But when we feel drained and they continue to make bad decisions we must let them go. We can do it in a way that says we still love them and will be patient; waiting for them to return.
Letting go of habits or addictions is far more complicated than anyone can understand who doesn’t suffer from them. I think on some level all humans suffer from one type of addiction or another. Some are even thought by society to be good, like working too much or being busy taking care of others. These are often rewarded and applauded. Others like being addicted to drugs or alcohol, having an eating disorder, being an abuser, etc. are far more recognized as things you should let go of. Regardless of what you have identified as a joy stealer, learning to let go will be a difficult journey.
The journey starts with trust and detachment. Your Little Voice hypothesizes about potential outcomes while your Big Voice knows your Creator has got this. It comes with feeling grossly uncomfortable and sad. Whatever you poured in to or whatever you let go of will leave a void. It comes with making a decision to let go and then having a plan of action to follow. Just like a fish you have no choice if you fight it. If a fish only swam forward gently and quit fighting it would have a chance to loosen the hook. Obviously you have so much more power than a fish. You can decide today to let go and walk into the unknown trusting God doesn’t bring you doubt, nor want you to stay somewhere that someone doesn’t respect or honor you.
You will see yourself one day as the most deserving and worthy soul God created; as a masterpiece. But you will not get there without learning to let go. I pray you take some time today and just get curious about what you might be holding onto. Whose grip is stealing your joy and creating suffering. And then go add becoming detached or learning to let go to your growth plan or add some goals around this so that you can start living an extraordinary life today!