Advocating for yourself in environments that are not built for you is scary, but your Big Voice still matters, and you shouldn’t let the little voices of others hold you back from speaking up. 

Why Speaking Up Matters—Even When It’s Hard

Silence helps maintain the status quo and form the norm that people follow, whether consciously or subconsciously. On the other hand, speaking up creates visibility for those who might feel unseen, excluded or underrepresented. It shows that you value and respect what you stand for, can help to break biases or misunderstandings that might have been perpetuated by silence and conformity, and it can foster transparency or innovation with others. 

Your voice introduces new perspectives that can strengthen decision-making, expand the bandwidth for collaboration, and increase the possibility that others who might feel the same way as you will find the strength to speak up, too. You’ll help create visibility for others who feel unseen. 

Common Fears That Hold People Back

There are a plethora of various fears that often hold people back from speaking up in spaces not built for them—each is very valid. Some of the common fears are listed here:

• Fear of being labeled “difficult” or “ungrateful”
• Fear of social exile 
• Fear of retaliation or professional consequences that could impact your position 
• Fear of “getting it wrong”
• Fear of exhaustion due to emotional labor of advocating for oneself 
• Fear of losing sense of safety 

The little voice inside you—that small inner critic—might tell you that your voice doesn’t matter, that you aren’t valuable, or so on. It can be so awkward to accept the unavoidable discomfort and move through it, and challenging to address the guilt you might feel by disrupting the perceived harmony of others. 

Whatever your feelings or fears, remember to give yourself grace with it all. You’re only human, and fear is a natural protective mechanism designed to keep us safe. However, pushing those boundaries and being brave is where growth and abundance are found. 

When you’re preparing to speak up despite these fears and feel the racing of your heartbeat, think of it as an internal applause from your body saying, you’ve got this. Be proud of you. 

Reframing the fears and feelings of anxiety or stress around speaking up is a wonderful step forward to help ease the discomfort—the fear you feel is actually preparing you to be courageous. 

Speaking Up as an Act of Service 

A great way to reframe “speaking up” is as an “act of service.” This act of service can be just as much for yourself as it is for others. It isn’t a selfish or egotistical thing to find or create belonging and inclusion—it’s an equitable, human act about value and asserting your self-worth. 

Speaking up is an alignment with values, not ego. 

Voicing concerns helps teams, organizations and communities grow. Think of it as “calling in” rather than “calling out.” Speaking up isn’t about finger-pointing and accusations, but about creating a gentle invitation for exploring behavior, comments, structures or ideals. The goal here is to understand various or new perspectives, gently challenge assumptions, and bolster discussion.

The act of service with speaking up is that it can have a positive impact on spaces by causing a ripple effect for others. Using your Big Voice can encourage others to find and use theirs, too. 

Practical Ways to Speak Up Safely and Strategically

Of course, there is a time and a place for speaking up. It will still feel risky, but there’s also risk in staying silent or becoming complacent and yielding to the behest of others despite your own discomfort. 

One way to speak up safely and strategically is by choosing the right moment and the proper medium. This means knowing when to push for more discussion and understanding, and when to pause and listen or observe. It also means thinking from a more rhetorical standpoint—not only what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it, and where you’re saying it. Speaking up in person during a one-on-one meeting, for instance, may bode better than sending a text or an email. 

Using “I” statements to explain your perspective and lived experiences will lessen the chance that you might sound accusatory, and helps you communicate with empathy. Focus your intention on naming the unspoken and how it makes you feel instead of jumping to demand a specific outcome. 

When you can, find allies to help support you or form coalitions with likeminded people who share similar values, perspectives or lived experiences. 

When Speaking Up Feels Too Risky

Of course, there will still be moments when speaking up will feel too risky, and it’s important to listen to your intuition here. Because it’s about value and not about ego, remember to honor your personal safety and boundaries. 

You might need to find alternative routes for influencing change, and that’s okay. You can redefine courage to include self-preservation. 

Reaffirm to yourself that your voice belongs, even if the space says otherwise. Taking one small step toward visibility and feeling included or like you belong is still a big step in finding your Big Voice!

Don’t be a bystander in your own life. Be an upstander, and use your Big Voice to make space for yourself because you are valuable, and you matter.